Grief Can Lead to Happiness
by notashamedtobe
Summary: This takes place after George dies. I love Callie. She rocks.


_**I had this swimming in my head ever since I saw the season premiere. I don't like Mark with Mini-Grey. I always loved the chemistry between Mark and Callie and was disappointed that they never got a fair shot. Enjoy…**_

**Day 5 - - -**

I was crying. I couldn't stop crying since I stepped into the elevator with Bailey after quitting my job and telling the chief he would rue this day. Did he? Did he rue this day because I think I kind of was. Screw that, I'm a superstar.

**Day 10 - - -**

I haven't been to work in little less than a week. I had somehow miraculously sent my resume to Mercy after another argument with Arizona. She doesn't understand why George's death is hitting me so hard. We were divorced. He was heading to Iraq to help our soldiers in the face of death. We hadn't been married in quite some time. Enough time for me to go through a fling with Mark and two lesbian relationships. She thinks I regret being with her. She thinks I was still in love with him. I told her she was an ass and she stormed out. I think it was two days ago. I'm not sure but she's insecure at the moment. She can't help this teenage patient of hers and it's starting to frustrate her. But she didn't have to decide whether or not to donate George's organs. She didn't have to be _that_ woman for his mother because she couldn't handle the decision. She still thought of me as her daughter-in-law and I decided. I decided to cut up what was left of George so that someone else could live. Me. Not her. She can bite me.

**Day 13 - - -**

Someone's knocking at the door and I somehow make my way there. I hear his voice and shake my head; I want him to go away. He's the one person I can't lie to. He knew before I did that I found Erica attractive. He didn't judge me but sent me on my way to happiness. It was short-lived happiness but happiness is happiness no matter the duration.

"Open the door Callie. No one's heard from you. You haven't been to work. Hey that's a nice place. Is it for sale?" I actually feel the rumblings of a smile on my face. He's asking about the condo across from me in the middle of my anguish. Typical Mark. I throw open the door and collapse in his arms, sobbing incoherently. He shushes me while stroking my hair. He gets us inside and helps me to the bathroom.

He sits me on the toilet and turns on the shower. In a few minutes the steam warms up the room. I hadn't realized how cold I was. He kneels before me taking my hands in his. "Okay Torres, it's time to toughen up. I know you miss him sweetie but you can't go on like this."

He stands and helps me take my shirt off. He removes my bra and I shiver at his touch. He makes me stand and lowers my sweats along with my panties. I feel so exposed and this man has seen me naked many times before. He's made my body sing Hallelujah so many times before but this is different. This is caring. This is sweet and this is the Mark many people never get the chance to see.

He makes me step inside the shower and I feel the hot water cascade down my body. He goes to close the door but I grip his hand, "Don't."

His mouth sets in a tight line because he knows what I am asking. He's still in love with Mini-Grey and I don't get why. She's so peppy and spunky but then I chastise myself. She loved George too. She had been his roommate and he got to her the same way he got inside me. Blast you George O'Malley. Curse you.

Mark whips off his shirt and I can't help but stare at his chiseled chest and abs. He has the body of a God and I have spent many nights worshipping at his altar. He unbuckles his pants and in mere moments he is in the shower with me. He doesn't speak as he grabs the shampoo and lathers up my hair. I lean against him and moan. His fingers felt so good. This was something we had never done when were doing whatever we were doing. It was too intimate and we were both terrified of too intimate. He pushes me into the spray of the water and washes the shampoo out. I grab the conditioner and squeeze some onto my scalp. I go to massage it in but he pushes my hand away. He kneads my scalp and I moan again, pressing my ass into his body. I feel his member hardening between us and I feel the wetness seeping from my own body.

I want to feel good. It is wrong. I was with Arizona and he was with Mini-Grey in a sense but I need him now. "Sloan…please…Mark?"

Maybe it was the use of his first name but as soon as it escapes my lips he grabs me and shoves me against the wall, teasing me with his fingers. They traces the curves of my body. They slip into me making me moan. "Callie…I know you're…"

I look over my shoulder and see lust and hesitation in his eyes but what I see above all else is caring. We had become good friends and he didn't want that to get ruined. Neither did I but I need him. I turn myself around and wrap my hand around his throbbing erection. I slowly pump his shaft and soon his lips are on mine and our tongues meet. He fists his hands in my hair as he attacks my neck only to spit a few seconds later.

"You have to rinse your hair out Callie." He smiles at me and I know we're going to be okay and this won't change us.

**Day 15 - - -**

Grief can motivate you. I had accepted a position at Mercy and was starting today. I look at myself in the mirror and purse my lips. I wasn't sure if the dress was too much. I glance at my bed and see the other possibilities. I grab them and head to my front door. I open it and see Mark and Lexie having a conversation. I smile at the young woman and turn my attention to Mark.

"I start at Mercy today and I need help deciding what to wear. What do you think of this dress?"

Lexie looks at me incredulously and opens her mouth to speak but Mark cuts her off, "It's too sexy. Your interns won't be able to work around you if you wear that dress."

I bite my lower lip and don't see the quick flash of heat that flies across his face. I glance at the other two dresses and hold them up. He points at the black one. "That one. It's refined sex and no one will die during your shift because one of your interns had a hard on while staring at your boobs."

I nod and throw my dresses at Lexie. "Hey hold these." Mark leans against his doorway as I shimmy out of the dress I was wearing. I grab the black one from a slack jawed Lexie and slip into it. I pull and tug and make it falls the way it's supposed to. I look at Mark. "Better?"

He smiles as I grab my stuff back from a mute Lexie. "Much. You're still hot but with authority."

**Day 27 - - -**

I knock on his door. Lexie opens it and seems surprised. I smile warmly at her, "Is Mark around?"

She answers, "Um, he's in the shower."

I nod and make my way inside, "Cool." I fidget with my bracelet as I open the door to his bathroom. I stand in front of his glass door shower and ask what has been plaguing me for the past few days. "Hey have you heard anything about the chief? I heard a rumor about him wanting to come to Mercy and that wouldn't be good at all. Not at all." I pick at my cuticles.

He's standing under the water and I can't help but feel my body warm as I remember our shower a couple of weeks ago. Our shower that led to my bed. My sofa. My kitchen counter and the rug in my home office. There were numerous stops along the way. I shake my head. "Um, no. I know he's distracted though but no rumblings of his jumping ship to Mercy."

I nod feeling relieved. "Okay thanks."

"Hey pass me the shampoo." I grab it off the shelf as he opens the door to make a grab for it. Our fingertips touch and we both pull back at the electricity that courses through us. "Okay thanks."

I nod and head back to my place to be stopped by Lexie. "How gay are you?"

I turn around slowly not sure if I heard her right. "Excuse me?"

She seems flustered, "I mean you just came in and went straight in there where my hot, naked and sexy boyfriend is showering naked and I just want to know how gay are you?"

I smile, amused and wait for her to continue.

"Like the other day, you stripped in the hallway. Stripped to your bra and panties and you're hot. Smoking hot and I know that you two were sex friends and now he lives across the hall from you so I need to know how gay are you?"

I make my way to her. "He used to stare at my boobs." I see her confused look. "When I would walk into a room his eyes would automatically go straight to my boobs. They haven't since you."

She smiles and I walk out back to my place.

**Day 31 - - -**

Grief turns to happy memories. We sit at Joe's sipping on wine. I told Arizona about my new intern who reminded me about George. It didn't hurt so much. It was nostalgic and sweet. Arizona smiled at me and I felt we were getting better.

**Day 46 - - -**

I have been avoiding Mark like the bubonic plague. My period is late. Arizona and I are fighting over stupid unimportant things. I know that Lexie moved in with Mark after our conversation in his living room and I don't know how I feel about that. I'm jealous but it might be my hormones because I am late. Late.

**Day 49 - - -**

"Open the freaking door Callie." I lean against it hoping that he would just go away. His voice lowers, "You said this wouldn't change us."

I sigh and open the door. I lean casually against my door as if my heart wasn't beating away in my chest threatening to explode. "It hasn't."

He sighs. "You're lying."

I shake my head. "I'm not. Look I know Lexie moved in and I don't want to make things weird. Go home. Mark?"

His gaze is no longer focused on me. It's focused on my floor and I follow it and cringe. My CVS bag with my pregnancy test is in that bag and it's kind of spilling out. I look up and see his furious face. "How long?" I open my mouth but no words come out. "How long have you suspected?"

I heave a sigh, "I'm late but it could be stress from George. Me and Arizona have been fighting. My job is crazy. I had spotted for a couple of days when it was supposed to come the last time after…well after. I've never been really regular and now I'm late."

He walks past me as I make excuses and I shut the door behind us. Neither of us saw Lexie open their door as I was closing mine.

He hands me the box and sits on the couch. I go to the bathroom and come out three minutes later. The goddamn stick turned pink seconds after I peed on it. I sit and he looks at me. I nod and he takes my hand.

**Day 53 - - -**

Someone is knocking at my door. I look through the peephole and see Lexie. I open it and she glares at me with tears in her eyes. "He looks at your boobs."

I shrug, "It's not…"

She cuts me off, "No. He hasn't stopped looking at your boobs and now you're pregnant with his child. Did he ever stop looking at your boobs?"

"Yes and it was because of you."

She hugs herself. "Then why did he start looking again?"

"Because I needed a friend. It was after George died and you were being so wishy washy with him. But it was just that one day."

"Bullshit!" I jump at her animosity. "I believed you. But then I moved in and noticed things. We sit on the couch and I see his eyes travel to the door as if he can see what you're doing in here. We get home and his gaze lands on your door before he even gets the key in ours. We could here Arizona yelling and moving out and he just stood in the kitchen sipping a beer. Your boobs."

I wait until she finishes. "This doesn't have to change anything. We could all sit down and find a way to make this work."

She snorts, "Like you and Arizona?"

I shake my head, "We had different problems. This was just what broke the camel's back. He loves you Lexie."

"He does but not as much as he loves this child he's going to have with you." She digs in her pocket and hands me a key. "Good luck."

**Day 99 - - -**

We look at the sonogram and our hearts break. He's going to be a beautiful baby boy. His fingers link with mine and we smile at one another. Then Mark smirks at me, "Think he's going to be as hung as his dad?" I roll my eyes and smack him on the arm.

**Day 113 - - -**

He watches me as I pack up the last of my things and tape up the box. I feel huge but he assures me I'm not. Then he gets that twinkle in his eye and takes me right there on the kitchen counter making me scream his name over and over. Afterwards he smiles at me as he pushes the hair out of my face. "Wanna go home?"

Home. It was across the hall at his place. Our place. It made the most sense. It was a 3 bedroom while mine was only a 2. It was bigger and had a better view. I nod and we walk, well I waddle, across the hall. I go into what we decided would be the baby's nursery. He looks at me and pulls me into his bedroom.

"Our room. I told you Callie, I want all in. Stop being so stubborn about it." He refuses to let go of my hand.

"You are in love with Lexie. You miss her." I hold onto that because I fear what I want.

He shakes his head and pulls me to the bed. "I got new sheets. Got new towels too. I picked up some of that pink sugary crap you like to eat in the morning."

I perk up, "Frankenberry?" He nods and I let go of the fear. I smile at him and he pulls me down to the mattress to show me just how in he was.

**Day 269 - - - **

The contractions are closer together and I try to block out the plain. "I want a fucking epidural or so help me Sloan I will slice your testicles off!!"

He laughs and shakes his head, "You're too close now Callie. You need to push."

I growl at him, "Why don't you fucking push bitch?" He laughs some more and some 45 minutes later he's handing me our son. "He's so beautiful. I'm sorry about…"

He cuts me off with his mouth. "No prob. He's going to be another McSteamy babe. Can you handle it?" I laugh and when I stop I see the emotion is his eyes. "Thank you Callie. I love you."

I freeze. We haven't said the words. But they've been swimming in my head for some time now. I would wake up during the night scared about being a mom and see him lying next to me. The fear would disappear. I would be sitting on the couch watching TV with him and turn to see reading another baby book. He got our son a baby Mariners jersey. I didn't know they came so small. He would randomly kiss my belly or rub it while I cooked. He would make love to me, gently so I could be comfortable, and it would bring tears to my eyes. My voice gets caught in my throat as I smile through my tears at him. I swallow and whisper, "I love you too."

He kisses my forehead and then the head of our son.

**Day 270 - - -**

The gang is piled in my room. Meredith is holding the baby and smiling while Izzy makes cooing sounds to him. Christina looks bored as she asks, "What's his name? I can't call him McBaby or 'it' anymore." Owen shrugs at me.

Izzy rolls her eyes and I lock eyes with Mark. He speaks, "George. George Sloan. No middle name needed."

Alex grips Izzy's hand as Derek kisses my cheek. Meredith speaks for them all, "That's a great choice. Nice to meet you George. 007 Jr."

**Day 288 - - -**

Someone knocks on the door as I curse. I put George in the playpen and smooth out my t-shirt. I was a hot mess, 25 lbs overweight and taking care of a baby was harder than a double in the ER. I open the door and squeak, "Mrs. O'Malley!"

She comes in and hugs me and makes her way to the baby. "Oh he's a cutie. Hello there George." He gurgles as babies do. She takes a quick look around and I get embarrassed. "Now hush up Callie. You're a new mom and it takes time. Go shower and I'll clean up a bit."

I smile and do as she asks.

**Day 365 - - -**

We're at church for the memorial mass. I have my hand in Mark's as he uses the other to rock George in his car seat thingie. The priest makes us cry and Mrs. O'Malley asks me to say a few words. I make my way to the podium after a reassuring hand squeeze from Mark. I look at the audience and smile. Lexie smiles back having moved on with a guy that she met at Joe's a month ago. Arizona smiles warmly reminding me why I had loved her. Meredith and Derek hold hands as do Izzy and Alex. Owen had his arm draped around Christina. I saw love everywhere I looked in the crowd. Then my gaze fell on my family and I felt it surge through my being.

"I remember finding out George was leaving for Iraq and all I could think about how to stop him. Bailey and I planned an intervention. I was sitting in an office and asked Arizona what she thought about George leaving and she said it was awesome. Awesome?" I smile at her and she nods. "How could it be awesome for him to go halfway across the world and risk his life day in and day out for a war that shows no signs of ending? I was furious at her and let her know. Then she spoke and blew me out of the water because what she said made sense and made me feel small. He was going there to save the lives of soldiers that needed him more than I needed him to be safe in some bubble. He was kind, gentle, selfless and brave. He was so brave that he was willing to leave his friends and family behind to be that man. To be the man that I had no choice to fall in love with in the first place."

"George O'Malley left us doing what he loved most, saving a life. We were hurt, we got mad and we grieved but as I look around this room and see all those who loved him and where we're at now, I smile. Because George taught us something that took me all this time to learn. That through the tears, the nights lying awake wondering why he wasn't here anymore and through pissed off stages that sometimes grief can lead to happiness and we have to embrace it with all we have. We've had a post it wedding. We've had Izzy fight her cancer and now she's in remission. And I have a family. So I stand here telling you all what I learned from George is to hold on tight to happiness because it can be fleeting but it's worth it. And it is awesome." My gaze falls on Mark and I smile. "So very awesome. Thank you."

I make my way back to my seat, my fingers linking with Mark's again. The service ends shortly after a few others share their thoughts and as the church clears out I turn to him. My friend. My lover. Father to my child and keeper of my heart. "Will you marry me Sloan?"

I thought I would see shock. Fear. But all I see is elation. "Sure? Tomorrow good for you?" He brings his mouth to mine and I embrace the happiness.


End file.
